I know it's hard at times not to fall into comparing ourselves to others, when reading blogs, it's only natural. Ez and Lisa blogged about this topic, and it caught my eye, it made me wonder more about my own motives in blogging. In writing my own thoughts, it's helped me get clarity on a few things and refocus on what matters to me. Today, I thought i would share my perspective and what helps me to stay away as much as i can, from feeling inadequate next to other bloggers.
For me personally I could become overwhelmed at what's out there, and portrayed on blogs, bringing it right into my day, where it's hard to ignore. There is so much content, that in my own world at least for now, I'm not well enough to do or have never had. I could also feel inadequate by comparison because many of the "über-blogs" have such a polished look, and such style in their postings, like from a magazine.
I do respect these bloggers and all they achieve and yet I don't deep down want to emulate them. I guess we each have to find our own voice and more importantly our own reason for blogging.
If you're serious about blogging and going to keep it up, it has to have a purpose. I also think the more real and open you can be the more you will get out of it in return.
My deeper meaning for blogging - expression...giving voice to my heart's desire to heal and to share those thoughts & feelings in the form of words that i hope may in turn benefit others, to have a space where I can spread my wings creatively, to gather inspirational pictures, to uplift, and to connect with those who love what I love, and in turn relate to who I am.
To create friendship threads that support. To create posts that allow me and i hope my readers, to think & reflect, to give form to feelings we all share in whatever area of our lives needs healing. And to find prettiness and things that others create along the way.
Clarity in your aims for your own blog must make it easier, not to become overwhelmed by what others are doing on theirs.
two further ways i find help, are a general focus on what you are grateful for in your life & also to work on increasing your own self worth.
I think in recognising that getting more or being more, doesn't automatically bring in greater happiness, we can take a step back when the feelings of inadequacy surface while blog browsing.
But why does this inadequacy happen, and what can we do to help it be less of an issue?
recognise our own beauty as is, and stop trying to become Good Enough to be loved.
We are already good enough just as we are.
Perceived Imperfections and all.
When we feel worthy of love, then our mind works in a different way and we take inspiration from all around rather than feeling inadequate by comparison. I believe its only then that we no longer have a hidden need to compete. Then the comparisons fall away.
That competitive approach is there, when we feel we must be "as good as" or "better than" someone else, in order to be loved and accepted. As if there's only enough love for the "best" person or the love is only given if you are a certain way. No wonder then that as we look at the seemingly perfect reality of other bloggers lives it stirs in us such upset.
We see a blogger who seems perfect and we equate that standard with what need to be done to be loveable.
But its not their issue its ours, no one can make us feel inadequate, that pain can only be produced OR reduced by us, as we gain ground in recognising our inner worth.
Its my belief that no standard is necessary for love. True love is unconditional.
And no matter what past experiences may have taught you or society tends to try to force upon you, there is absolutely no reason you are not deserving of your own deep self acceptance and ultimately your own love.
This "work" isn't an overnight job naturally. And its something that has my attention daily within my own journey because true healing is always multi-faceted. Simply put its the acceptance that we are loved and loveable that helps us to feel more ease and peace, in our heart and in our day to day, as well as in our blog reading :)
Thank you for being part of my journey through reading my blog, for being a listening ear to my hearts whispers, for caring enough to visit or comment. With a place to share my writing I find I process feelings and thoughts that otherwise stay a jumble in my mind. Through wanting to express here, I find I learn and grow and ultimately help my healing process that bit further,
For this I'm so grateful
Love kat xxxxx