“There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.”
- John Lennon
I'm posting today a piece that's been of help to me, I always thought I understood inner child work, but lately it has taken on a different feel, a new light has been shone on it, and I'm finding it more of real value to me, rather than it just sounding like a nice concept or a visualisation to go through. The photo here is of me.
The below is from a piece written by Ann Callaghan who's range of gem essences Indigo Essences, I greatly admire and use often. The article in full is on her helpful links page at her website Indigo essences, you can find it here
" 'Inner child work’, as it’s known, aims to unlock and heal the emotional wounds that we suffered as little children. These wounds, usually unconsciously, rule the way we are in the world as adults. These wounds are behind most of our day-to-day fears, anxieties and behaviours and will remain in place until we recognize them and release them.
The more we release the fears held by the inner child, the more care free we become. We also become very sensitized to the needs of every child. We become quick to recognize what a particular child needs. Learning to love and listen to your own inner child will really help you feel happier about life in general and specifically will help you to be a better parent.
Below is an outline of what to do.
Now talk to the little child. Ask her what she felt like. Ask her what she wanted to say or do in that situation. She will tell you. Maybe she wanted to tell her parents that it hurt her very much when they left her like that. Maybe she felt very angry that they didn’t tell her the truth or understand her feelings enough to know that it would have been OK if they had prepared her for what was going to happen and reassured her that they loved her very much and would never leave her for long.
Now it’s time to repair the damage. As a child you were unable to tell your parents how you felt or what you needed. Now you can.
You become your own parent. Ask the little child what she would like to say to her parents now. Call your parents in (in your mind’s eye - it’s just as effective as having them there in the flesh). Now the little child has the opportunity to rant and rave and say everything she needs to say. Sometimes the parents will answer back and explain what was going on for them at the time.
Ask the little child what she wanted - she will tell you. Reassure her that you will always listen to her and won’t ever leave her.
When the fear and the grief have been released a feeling of calm will come over you. You will probably feel very tired and vulnerable. Look after yourself as a kind and loving parent would. Get your favourite food, snuggle up on the couch, have a long bubbly bath, whatever.
The essences will help to balance & stabilize your energy while you release the fear. You may need to change your selection as you work through the layers of pain. Listen to yourself, you will know.
As soon as the next fear becomes apparent go through the process with yourself again. Remember to be unconditional with yourself. We all have many fears. Don’t be hard on yourself or set yourself time limits to finish this work. It takes as long as it takes."
Love & light
Hello, butterflies, readers, and friends
Long time no speak, I have had this post sitting in my drafts since April and at that time I wasn't sure whether to put it up or not as it's quite long and has a lot to say without really being able to be specific. I shall put it up here now and just see how it feels ...
I have been absent for quite a while from my Secrets.
I have not forgotten it though. I just have been so unwell it wasn't possible to post.
My heart wants to write, it has always, and probably will always, seek to write.
At this point today though, I think it wants writing to help me back to my self. I know I can hear its whispers, it's lead in that direction. I don't quite know what I will pen, or type in this case onto my phone. But I'm listening. Listening has been so much of what I have been doing, listening to parts of me that were always calling but I could never hear before now.
I'm not certain i am ready to come back to the blogging fold.
I am weak and at times feel so ill I lie and wonder how I am going to survive the next few hours let alone change and begin a life anew in a whole different story to the one I've been living for the last few decades. Though I know that's what my spirit imagines is possible, and draws me to believe in.
Then I am still baring the bruises from a rather difficult 4 months, fragile emotionally and feeling things very deeply. I rely v much on my immediate family.
I'm not sure if all this that intensified this winter, is solely from my own personal process or connected to the larger whole.
Since these wintery months especially the ending of 2013 & this march in '14, with the equinox, brought in lots of new energy and light. It integrates with the light we already hold within us, it's designed to clear and heal and uplift. We are going things at a speed that's not been the norm so it does tend to create quite a bit of unsettledness.
I find with this that it enhances or stirs up whatever is going on for me, rather like receiving a healing session.
It can help you feel stronger at times but also detox the things you need to let go and that can be more than a little uncomfortable.
So I have had to live very much in the moment over the winter. It's been challenging in lots of ways physically and emotionally. Things I would usually have used to keep my spirits up became impossible to do, like Christmas wrapping and giving or being up from bed on my birthday, blogging with my inspirations to share or photographing for instagram. To say it's been very difficult would be an understatement.
In the midst of a time when I would have chosen to stay small and within my bubble, I had to open and trust in a few different paths and people, that presented to me. I had to be raw and honest and express lots of vulnerability. I pursued them all because I was desperate for help.
They all taught me things. Though many didn't have the ending I would've thought, I did experience compassion. I was searching for meaning to the despairing situation. I wasn't depressed though at times the depth of sadness was overwhelming. I was and am still scared, and I wanted to know so very much what the core of that was. I asked outside of me for answers, and I continued my inner quest. But for so long neither really brought me clarity.
I know you will want to ask how I am and whether my writing means I'm doing ok now? I'm not certain there is a simple answer to that.
There are some aspects that have shifted for me within, to do with the answers I sought for so long, but it is very early days and a bit like seedlings in a greenhouse those delicate leaves can't be exposed to the open air so I shall keep them to myself for quite a while and let them establish.
Having that side has given me a peace of hope to stay close with, but it would be too early to say yes I am through this and doing better. Plus I get tentative because there's a certain understandable reluctance to say anything for sure in words when things are only just finding footing. A new footing on a new grass, and not taking steps, just actually pausing there. To grasp what had occurred, to wait for a while and just breathe.
So no, I am not back to the way I have been in the past when blogging. I'm not back there. But I don't want to just go backwards and return to ways that though bearable weren't always nourishing either, they were just the keeping going.
I feel like my healing journey had gone on so long and I searched so deeply and widely. But after coming through some of the hardest days and weeks this winter brought, I feel I've come to understand some important things from very new angles and that has made a difference which I hope can continue to guide me.
I do have that to hold onto.
At the same time, I still have a lot that's unsure on the surface and experiences and days that I am so poorly within that it is hard to contemplate anything normal. So I can't say that I feel safer there yet. I can't say that I feel strong enough to get back to myself. All I know is how much compassion I have for myself and how much love for all parts of myself.. that it reaches far beyond words.
I want to stay with the focus of "just be" and let myself come back to me by itself, like an allowing or unfolding.
I feel I can't make it be so, I can't work for it, I have done too much of the pushing and trying in the past and it's results are intermittent, and often without good ground.
Though at times it's so easy to fall back into being hard on myself not with a dislike, but from that old worn route, that misguided approach of thinking that results take effort and pressure in order to receive. Or that I'm not good enough if I'm not trying or managing. When in fact, both these, especially within ME, only make it all so much harder.
Acceptance, compassion, being enough, resting, trusting, allowing, being, loving, all these cornerstone words I won't be forgetting. Even the writing of and reading back here, i (and I'm guessing you too) can feel the vibrations within them, & sense that they are good friends to have around.
I watch the flowers in spring and I see how they do all this with grace, they poise at certain moments and don't rush they know there has to be a meeting of time with their inner feeling. Like dancers upon a stage almost, awaiting the music awaiting each other's movements to coincide.
So the right amount of light, warmth, or feeling, a corresponding and a coinciding. The sense of being a part or cupped within a deeper flow that is doing it for you even though not to you, and you're still playing your part, making your choices, shaping your journey.
This is what deeply wanting to heal and be oneself again takes you to, a place of marrying your own desire with a surrendering, a place of having to trust even when you are at your most vulnerable and scared, opening you gently when all parts of you want to do is stay closed, and I hope making whole the two sides within, into one dance again,
If writing helps me with that process I'm in.
Love & light
"Your love lifts my soul from the body to the sky
And you lift me up out of the two worlds.
I want your sun to reach my raindrops,
So your heat can raise my soul upward like a cloud."
From Thief of Sleep by Rumi
Translation by Shahram Shiva
Let go, rest, being, glisten.