Secrets of a Butterfly

Blogging with honesty part 2

 

I know it's hard at times not to fall into comparing ourselves to others, when reading blogs, it's only natural. Ez and Lisa blogged about this topic, and it caught my eye, it made me wonder more about my own motives in blogging. In writing my own thoughts, it's helped me get clarity on a few things and refocus on what matters to me. Today, I thought i would share my perspective and what helps me to stay away as much as i can, from feeling inadequate next to other bloggers.

For me personally I could become overwhelmed at what's out there, and portrayed on blogs, bringing it right into my day, where it's hard to ignore. There is so much content, that in my own world at least for now, I'm not well enough to do or have never had. I could also feel inadequate by comparison because many of the "über-blogs" have such a polished look, and such style in their postings, like from a magazine.
I do respect these bloggers and all they achieve and yet I don't deep down want to emulate them. I guess we each have to find our own voice and more importantly our own reason for blogging.
 
If you're serious about blogging and going to keep it up, it has to have a purpose. I also think the more real and open you can be the more you will get out of it in return.

 ................................
My deeper meaning for blogging - expression...giving voice to my heart's desire to heal and to share those thoughts & feelings in the form of words that i hope may in turn benefit others, to have a space where I can spread my wings creatively, to gather inspirational pictures, to uplift, and to connect with those who love what I love, and in turn relate to who I am.
To create friendship threads that support. To create posts that allow me and i hope my readers, to think & reflect, to give form to feelings we all share in whatever area of our lives needs healing. And to find prettiness and things that others create along the way.
    ..............................

Clarity in your aims for your own blog must make it easier, not to become overwhelmed by what others are doing on theirs.
 
two further ways i find help, are a general focus on what you are grateful for in your life & also to work on increasing your own self worth.
 I think in recognising that getting more or being more, doesn't automatically bring in greater happiness, we can take a step back when the feelings of inadequacy surface while blog browsing.

 

 

But why does this inadequacy happen, and what can we do to help it be less of an issue?

  recognise our own beauty as is, and stop trying to become Good Enough to be loved.
We are already good enough just as we are.
Perceived Imperfections and all.

 
When we feel worthy of love, then our mind works in a different way and we take inspiration from all around rather than feeling inadequate by comparison. I believe its only then that we no longer have a hidden need to compete. Then the comparisons fall away.
That competitive approach is there, when we feel we must be "as good as" or "better than" someone else, in order to be loved and accepted. As if there's only enough love for the "best" person or the love is only given if you are a certain way. No wonder then that as we look at the seemingly perfect reality of other bloggers lives it stirs in us such upset.
 
We see a blogger who seems perfect and we equate that standard with what need to be done to be loveable.
But its not their issue its ours, no one can make us feel inadequate, that pain can only be produced OR reduced by us, as we gain ground in recognising our inner worth.

 
  Its my belief that no standard is necessary for love. True love is unconditional.

And no matter what past experiences may have taught you or society tends to try to force upon you, there is absolutely no reason you are not deserving of your own deep self acceptance and ultimately your own love.
 
This "work" isn't an overnight job naturally. And its something that has my attention daily within my own journey because true healing is always multi-faceted.  Simply put its the acceptance that we are loved and loveable that helps us to feel more ease and peace, in our heart and in our day to day, as well as in our blog reading :)
 
Thank you for being part of my journey through reading my blog, for being a listening ear to my hearts whispers, for caring enough to visit or comment. With a place to share my writing I find I process feelings and thoughts that otherwise stay a jumble in my mind. Through wanting to express here, I find I learn and grow and ultimately help my healing process that bit further,
 
For this I'm so grateful

Love kat xxxxx

 

Blogging with honesty part 1

 

 

dear readers,

you have been with me through so much. I have opened up to you about my healing, my despair, my hopes, my dreams, and lots more in between (in this catagory of posts). I hope very much I give a balanced view of my life.

Though I choose to focus on what's right and what I enjoy, I think you can appreciate that being so ill over such a long time takes away a lot of who you are able to outwardly be. So in that respect I do not get to live as the person I really am, though I try hard to make up for that in other ways. Being my true self in those areas i can manage, such as writing and taking photos here.

 And that's why getting to know myself inside, in my soul, has been such an important part of keeping myself strong enough to continue handling the illness & what's missing from my life. 
I could not as i grew into adulthood, get to know myself through what I was doing out in the world, or in a University, as the illness prevented that, especially over the 10 years at my worst. But I could come to understand things about myself in other ways, my insights, my likes and dislikes, my priorities and what matters most when all else is stripped away.
I would not have found my passion for writing, had it not been through listening to my heart in times of great suffering. I wouldn't have made the friendships I have, with people who also have the same condition and who's bravery inspires me. Nor would i have "met" the friends i have made in more recent times who live around the world, if I had not opened up on my blog.
 
I hope when you visit me here you see the real me, or as much of her as i am able to be, given the physical limitations. I am a whole host of seeming contradictions, I think that is so of us all, in different ways.
I notice how I can be delicate yet also strong, just one aspect of the "two sides to every story" that we all have.
 
One thing that serious illness does, is tear down the ability to put up a front. Its impossible to try to be something youre not when you havent even the energy to be who you are.
I always want this blog to just be a simple and peaceful place to come & restore your spirit. That is my goal for myself and for anyone visiting.

More thoughts on blogging openly and honestly soon in part 2, meanwhile you may also like these posts by the lovely Ez at Creature Comforts and by the lovely Lisa at Soulomama, as they were what prompted me to write today, they share their reflections on blogging authentically, share what they are afraid of letting people know, and the pit falls of comparing ourselves to one another in the blog world...

here's to sharing and expressing...authentically & powerfully

love Kat x

ps. the top photo is a beautiful origami butterfly made for me by Jules, and the writing is my own, i placed it on the photo using a new app called signote, its fab!

 

 

A moment of reflection

Just a little golden goodness... on an autumnal day

photos are by: top - Look left and look right

left to right - Maria,  Frydogdesign, Look left and look right

Love

In our hearts we are united

The places we exist in time and space, are not the ways we are seperated,
we are seperated only by how much we close our hearts to one another

When we are open to feel anothers pain or happiness,
we realise we are no different
And in that realisation, we are united

In the world there are many excuses to use our differences as weapons against one another

Let us look always for ways that we can use our hearts to unite

Divisions are illusions that we conjure to justify attack of another,
we do so only to make ourselves feel less fear

Choose a different way to turn away from fear
choose to replace it with love instead

Forget me knots - remembering we are Loved

I have been so drawn to the tiny forget me knots that have come up randomly around the garden. Some are so small, they are barely noticeable. Thus they have a feeling of being even more, flowers that belong to the world fairies inhabit. I took these photos in the front garden and used camerabag to edit them.

I have often found that if i am particularly drawn to a flower or gem, or if it is turning up in my life then it has an aspect of healing to offer me at that time.

I looked up forget-me-knot in my book of flower essences (essences are vibrational healing remedies, preserved in brandy, and taken orally or sprayed around the body, used in creams etc) and thought i would include the description from the Lightbringer flower essences here as it spoke to me so beautifully....

"Alpine Forget-Me-Not is an essence which reminds us that we are part of a loving universe, that we have always been loved and that we always will be.It is an essence that connects us therefore with Divine or Spiritual love: heightened, infinite, beyond the needs of ego, personality, and what we might term ‘human’ love.

It teaches us how love is present all around us, in every touch and experience of life, in every relationship past, present and yet to come, and in our own heart.
But it is not enough to know on an intellectual level that this is here; Alpine-Forget-Me-Not teaches us to forget not to receive Divine Love and to let it become a reality in our lives.

It encourages us to expand beyond the confines of our present perception and to embrace all the love that we have ever known, have ever been touched by and have yet to meet.It is multi-dimensional, calling us to draw on all sources of love in the universe, connect to them, be nourished by them, and live this love.It particularly helps us to still feel the warm presence in our hearts of loved ones who have died or whom we do not have contact with.

Love never dies — it cannot; the very nature of it is eternal. Opening to this enables us to experience it much more tangibly and have it permeate all we live and be — understanding that it is universal, vast, infinite, unconditionally bestowed and ever-present. "

Maybe we all need a reconnection to a greater sense of Love. By connecting to this we may remember our own eternal nature and that nothing is ever lost, merely hidden from our understanding.

The truth about love is it is eternal and unconditional - maybe that is all any of us ever need to remember to feel the type of peace that passes understanding.

I do love this little blue flower and all it has to give us with its beauty and energy and its teaching of eternal love.

with grace and peacefulness

All words in "quotations" are from Lightbringer essences, created by Rachel Singelton, who works in Cumbria, England, these essences can be purchase from the website,i particularly like using the mists or from Healthlines

A time to just be

image by Shinya*

sunday, a time just to be, take in the world around and within
what can we hear that we have not heard before
what can we feel that we have neglected
and who can we be with that we need to cherish


1. 26A, 2. 初恋＊, 3. My radio, 4. find

Hello my lovelies,

I have loved hearing your thoughts on my last few posts though, especially the summer cabin in our garden. And i have left some replies to your comments there.

Today i have been thinking about balance, and about the regularity of posting on blogs. I have been wondering which i prefer, both as a blogger and as a reader. Do i like to keep up with blogs that post daily? or do i prefer to follow bloggers that share less often, but with whom i feel i can keep up to date with? All in all, i have been pondering the question...."Is less More"?

Sometimes posting a little less often can be good for us can't it, both for blogger and anyone stopping by to read on a regular basis. I know i like to have a sense of keeping up with all the posts my friends share, but mostly that just isnt practical.

Who else feels a little overwhelmed keeping up? i know i have to remember "i shall catch the post i am meant to read and i will always be drawn to what i need to hear". So there is no need to keep up to date with everything shared!

We have to set up our online world so that we recieve inspiration yes, but not so much that we lose sight of our own ideas or start to feel any sense of pressure. That has become more and more a possibility, the greater that blogs, twitter and facebook are used these days.

by Au fil de

Blogs will always have more and more to offer. Its up to us to set boundaries and consciously decide what has our attention. How we arrange our "feeds" and what we subscribe too, is important in this aspect. Maybe there is a truth in 'less is more' as we then take it in and benefit from, or recall it so much more.

Having said that i also like to hear as much as i can from those that inspire me! So i would miss them if they posted too infrequently or if i chose not to visit them as often.
It must be a case of finding a balance that works for you, as applies to so much in life. And for each of us that balance is going to be different.

So i spent a little time this Sunday, tidying up my inbox and adjusting my facebook feed. I've also adjusted some of my sidebar content over recent weeks. I discovered how to make pages pop up when you click on a title on the sidebars. So i now have blog links opening in a seperate page and boutiques listed in that way too. You will find those listed on the left hand column, fairly near the top under Pages.

I know i like having my box links, and many will still remain as mini adverts for places i favourtie, but it had been becoming a little cluttered, with my lists getting ever longer! So my hope is, by removing some, this will make the blog feel more spacious and calm ;)

I wish you a day of peaceful moments, and a time in greater balance.

by chara*coco*

time slips by through our weekly hours
sunday gives us back the lost awareness of what matters

(all words my own, for images -click to go to source)

Meadow love

1. Irish Hare, 2. Lesson to self #21: Be open to possibilities., 3. The Evolution of Atoms and Stars, 4. Summer Time, 5. HONEY IN THE SUN, 6. Untitled, 7. Heard melodies are sweet, but those unheard are sweeter., 8. Untitled, 9. Untitled

one of my favourite pieces of writing is this......

Out Beyond Ideas

Out beyond ideas
of wrongdoing and rightdoing,
there is a field.

I'll meet you there.

When the soul lies down
in that grass,
the world is too full to talk about.

Ideas, language
- even the phrase "each other" -
do not make any sense.

- Rumi

My understanding of this is that in the field of Oneness there is no seperation, we are all made of the same essence, there is no right or wrong, no sides, no division,and no seperation... so the phrase "each other" does not apply, for we are One

Love

The bluebell pathway

This is one of my all time favourites of Keri-Anne's photos, and i recently purchased it as a large print from her etsy shop - Gingerlillytea

Here it is in a frame i got from Laura Ashley and i am so pleased with how it looks in the corner of my room. Everytime i see it, i feel inspired and reassured. The light coming through the trees and guiding through the bluebell pathway.

The Willow tree angel beside it is from a beautiful blog reader and now friend, Helen, and came all the way across the ocean from Australia. (thank you so much sweetie xox)

I love the symbology of this angel with the tree detail on her dress - for me, it represents being grounded here and nourished and supported by the Earth, sending down roots and finding stability and security as a result. It also means growth and a tree that can blossom and nuture life in its branches xox

I have a special area in my room where i can place things that have meaning to me and that give me upliftment. I think its so important to nuture that side of ourselves in some way. It gives dreams somewhere to be earthed, grounded into our conscious awareness, daily.

A book i love on how to do this is: Altars by Denise Linn

Before I go I also want to thank dear Keri-Anne for the birthday package she sent me, i love the polaroids and the photos to add to my Gingerlillytea collection, and also the doilly butterfly - (thank you so much for your kindness darling, xox )

Love and sunlight through the trees, to guide you on your own path

We are good enough for who we are

Lots of people aim to make changes in January.
But, is it the best time for resolutions or reinventions i wonder.
(image by Luisamohle)

Out my window, nature is still dormant. Quite happy in it's stillness as if contemplating and dreaming. Life there is not taking action or forcing growth forwards. Not yet, at least. The conditions are not right and nature knows it.

by Elena

If we tune into our own rhythms, what are they saying?
what are they telling us to wait for, or put in place during this winter season before changes can come along more easily.. ( if you live in the Southern hemisphere chances are your rythmns will be different and you will be in a different space)
Maybe we need to just relax after Christmas. Allow a little space to breathe.

by Brooke Pennington

As far as goal setting or attaining goes... we can tend to want to want to stick to rules or regimented ideas of what we feel we should be doing. Sometimes these ideals are based on what other people say we should be like.
Then in pursuit of this ideal way of feeling, we seek to reach the goal, and complete it as quickly as possible, Maybe to feel happier, or to feel good about ourselves, to increase our self worth through accomplishing something.

But life doesn't always work out like that,
"Life tends, more often than not, to be what is happening while we're busy making those plans"

Across the course of a year, things can change, we may need to bend and ebb and flow with how things go. Do we feel ok with that, can we be flexible?
And if we fail to meet our goals, how will we feel?
Will our happiness depend on them, will our worth depend on them? and even if our first answer to this is no, how will we really feel in the parts of ourselves that lie deeper, quieter, and perhaps are a little more sensitive to having let us down.

by Anna Inghardt

Goal setting as a motivation is helpful. The problems arise with how we feel if they arent held to, or attained. We need to be careful that we don't take it as meaning WE are failures, if we fail to achieve what we aimed for.

Accomplishment is fulfilling. Depending on achievements, to enable us to feel self worth, is far less benefitial.

We need to have self worth, and a sense of being good enough, and loved, just for who we are, not have it depend on what we do, or how much we achieve.

by Emma del Rey

Baring these reflections in mind, i find if i look at the year ahead, i am more tempted to just live in the present. To keep a certain idea of hopes and dreams, to have my visulisation boards, but to not make lists, and to feel no pressure of "i should be's" and just be open and kind to myself.
love

Daisy Chakra bracelets

 I love Mandala's as you know, and i'm very much into chakras as part of my healing.

 So i was delighted to come across these chakra bracelets by a designer here in the Uk called Daisy.

Already popular with Cheryl Cole and Sienna Miller, they have been featured by Vogue and Grazia magazines in recent weeks.

Each colour corresponds to one of 7 chakras, and has its own affirmation. The traditional symbols for each energy centre, being very much like a mandala, are made in either silver (£50) or a gold finish in matt or gloss (£75)

A personal and spiritual talisman to empower and uplift. There are also pendants avaliable in matching designs.

 

 

 
Poppy Delevigne (wearing the brow chakra bracelet) with Alexa Chung

love and light