We are good enough for who we are

Lots of people aim to make changes in January.
But, is it the best time for resolutions or reinventions i wonder.
(image by Luisamohle)

Out my window, nature is still dormant. Quite happy in it's stillness as if contemplating and dreaming. Life there is not taking action or forcing growth forwards. Not yet, at least. The conditions are not right and nature knows it.

by Elena

If we tune into our own rhythms, what are they saying?
what are they telling us to wait for, or put in place during this winter season before changes can come along more easily.. ( if you live in the Southern hemisphere chances are your rythmns will be different and you will be in a different space)
Maybe we need to just relax after Christmas. Allow a little space to breathe.

by Brooke Pennington

As far as goal setting or attaining goes... we can tend to want to want to stick to rules or regimented ideas of what we feel we should be doing. Sometimes these ideals are based on what other people say we should be like.
Then in pursuit of this ideal way of feeling, we seek to reach the goal, and complete it as quickly as possible, Maybe to feel happier, or to feel good about ourselves, to increase our self worth through accomplishing something.

But life doesn't always work out like that,
"Life tends, more often than not, to be what is happening while we're busy making those plans"

Across the course of a year, things can change, we may need to bend and ebb and flow with how things go. Do we feel ok with that, can we be flexible?
And if we fail to meet our goals, how will we feel?
Will our happiness depend on them, will our worth depend on them? and even if our first answer to this is no, how will we really feel in the parts of ourselves that lie deeper, quieter, and perhaps are a little more sensitive to having let us down.

by Anna Inghardt

Goal setting as a motivation is helpful. The problems arise with how we feel if they arent held to, or attained. We need to be careful that we don't take it as meaning WE are failures, if we fail to achieve what we aimed for.

Accomplishment is fulfilling. Depending on achievements, to enable us to feel self worth, is far less benefitial.

We need to have self worth, and a sense of being good enough, and loved, just for who we are, not have it depend on what we do, or how much we achieve.

by Emma del Rey

Baring these reflections in mind, i find if i look at the year ahead, i am more tempted to just live in the present. To keep a certain idea of hopes and dreams, to have my visulisation boards, but to not make lists, and to feel no pressure of "i should be's" and just be open and kind to myself.
love

Comments

[Louisa Rose]

I loved this post. Thank you K, from the bottom of my heart x

[Merry]

Wonderful post! I highly agree with everything you've said. Sure, I've made some goals for myself, but there is the fear I will fail at them. So, I'm going to do what you're going to do: live in the present. If I meet the goals, that'll be great, and if I don't, that's okay too! :)

-Merry

[Cassie]

What an amazingly beautiful, well written post Kat. So calming and peaceful for these quiet days of Winter.
xx

[Kat]

Louise, Merry, Cassie
Thank you, I'm really glad to know that what I wrote has resonated with you and made a difference in some way.
When I write and post these type of things, it always helps me to hear your thoughts back. As well as helping me get clear on where I'm at myself.
Love Kat x

[Helen]

Dear Kathryn,
Well said!!!
We hear and read so much about making lists and resolutions and ticking items off. So much so, that almost everyone is running around in a frenzy trying to complete the day's to do list. And in the interim, life sure does slip away. All those glorious 84,500 seconds of our day - vanished. Nothing memorable or beautiful to be grateful for. Lots of stress however when things go askew and the list is pushed to the side. But it's re-assuring to see so many like yourself and your lovely readers coming to the realisation of what is important in our world.
Your analogy with the seasons and resolutions is so clever. It applies to us in the South too. The last thing I know I want to be doing is setting challenges for myself in the intense heat and humidity. Sitting back and watching life suits me just fine in this climate. No lists for me this year - just learning to take life as it comes.

[Julie]

What a beautiful post Kat...definitely appeals to my heart at the moment - preferring secret heart felt wishes rather than new years resolutions!! Thanks xxxxx Julie

[Anna @ Evie George]

I love this post.... x

[jeska]

Great post!

I'm already forgetting my pledge to moisturise, I need to face up to the fact that it would take an army bootcamp to get me in to any kind of routine! x

[Tracy]

I know what you mean about sometimes doing things because it is what people expect of us, not always because it is what we want to do. As a stay at home mum, I am not teaching at the moment and sometimes compare myself to people who have careers and feel a bit bad about my achievements. It is right to be happy with youreslf because of how you are and not what you do. Thanks for reminding me Kat.
Have a good new year and thanks for your blog which makes the days prettier.

[Natalia]

Dear Kathryn,

I have been vistiting your blog for a while and I'm becoming addicted to it...which is a very good thing for me. Yours posts are so calm and peaceful that I give myself time to stop and think about many things. Thank you especially for this post: so reasonable and reassuring.

Wishing you lots of ideas for the New Year,
Natalia

[Colleen in MA]

Thank you Kathryn for such a lovely meditation for the new year. Blessings to you!

[ilsa-fay]

Hi Kathryn,
I can't agree with you more. Especially if health is an issue, I find I tend to make too many plans or goals and then when I physically cannot fulfill them, I feel frustrated and annoyed with myself. This year, I am setting "possibilities", not goals and being grateful for small achievements:)

[Tina slocum]

As always Kat, your blog is such a wonderful place to visit. I always feel as if I've sat with a good wise friend, on a comfy couch with a cuppa and had a good conversation.
This post reminded me that yes~you are so right we do not have make lists of resolutions and presure ourselves with self improvements to be ok.
thank you Kat
A great 2011 to you.
Tina

[Anna @ Evie George]

I kept thinking about this all weekend... have blogged and linked here http://eviegeorge.blogspot.com/2011/01/feeling-like-this.html hope you don't mind- I just thought it was the perfect post x

[Bumpkin Bears]

I'm all with you on this one. For sometime now I have not made new years resolutions, I felt pressure from them rather than enthusiasm and delight. I too prefer to live in the moment, of course with dreams, and work gradually towards each and every little delight the day brings. Often I find new ideas come more to me when I am in this state of mind rather than the "I must be like..." "I must do that"... mind! Wishing you a year full of wonderful surprises and magical moments, Catherine xx

[Melissa de la Fuente]

A beautiful post dear Kat.....absolutely right, I love it!
xo
Melis

[Zuzu]

This is lovely, Kat. I am not one to make Ney Year's resolutuions - but I do make gentle changes when they present themselves to me.

Wishing you a 2011 filled with joy,
~ Zuzu

[dyan]

Beautiful thoughts Kat. I too am feeling the quiet and stillness of the season and indeed it is a time for turning inward and being peaceful and quiet.

[Heather]

You words are so heartfelt and honest. This is such a wise post and words that all of us could take a moment to reflect on.
I think living in the present is one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves.
Take care Kat.
-Heather

[boho girl]

beautifully said. warmth wrapped up around you...what a beautiful and tranquil space you have here. xoxo

[Naomi]

Eloquent and uplifting. You said it beautifully

[Annie S]

This helped me too x

[Skeptlorist]

My sentiments sure do echo your words.

I tend to get far too caught up with planning ahead. Not only in the days close to the New Year, it's a perpetual thing. Thankfully, I'm getting more skillful of being aware of this and trying to be more laid back about things. Live more in the now. Remind myself to enjoy the moment and let go of tomorrow, or even the next hour. Just the now.

I've always been a planner, but it magnified with motherhood. All these plans of things to enjoy doing with my child keep getting in the way of actually enjoying things with my child, if that makes any sense.

And very well put on us doing what we feel we should! We could probably all do with worrying less about what others think :) Not only us grownups, but the kids too. Just this morning I was observing this at her Kindergarten, and how her behaviour altered according to which kid she was talking to, and how she thought they wanted her to act. Of course, it's an important social element, we want to belong, but it's a shame how difficult it can be sometimes to voice and/or accept a different perspective.

Sorry, I wrote more than I intended. I just wanted to thank you, it really is a wonderfully inspiring and uplifting post.