I seek to look at the world through eyes of love, to be inspired by what I see.
I do not want to feel jealous of what others have, things that I yearn for, I want to be inspired to continue to hope and dream.
I want to share in their joy at being alive. I want to create these pictures in my own dreams that help them come one step closer to a reality.
It maybe that when I connect with wonderful souls such as Faith, and look through her photos at Instagram, that at times, I am overwhelmed by the feelings of not having a partner or children of my own. Not having days out or time amongst the beautiful nature of Mother Earth. That now in the second half of my thirties, I fear will I ever have those things that my heart so needs and longs for. The illness has already taken away so much, will it prevent that also from becoming manifest. Will it remain only a dream buried deep in my soul.
Friends i have made through instagram, may live the life that i have such similar wishes for. It may at times be immensely painful to see it, but for the most part it somehow touches my heart, lifts it, delights it, and ends up being more inspiring than it is saddening. It's always a choice, how we react to things, that power we at least have.
Whether we are envious or delighted by others, whether we are forever downcast by the buffeting of life's tougher experiences, or whether we can strengthen ourselves up through choosing to see all that we are rich in despite the pain.
Somehow seeing the joys of being a mother, lived as richly through lives like Faith's, brings it closer into my own sphere, and keeps my attention on what I want to live, not how ill I may be feeling, while I have to be permanently resting.
Thank you Faith, and others who may see this like Kirsten, whom i have connected with from around the world, for strengthening my own dreams by sharing your life experiences ....you never know what positive affects your sharing can have. I guess that is something we can all be aware of when we post at Instagram or blogs, that we are touching lives in ways we may not imagine.
That is definitely something that I take heart from. When I am inspired by someone may I also remember that I inspire others. When I receive something from someone, a word, a gift, a kind remark, may I also recognise the impact I have through the giving of these things myself.
Like a big circle we are intricately connected, in one great flow of giving and receiving. There is always something to touch the heart and uplift me, this I look for, this I hold to,
Love and light kat xx
xxx love and light Kathryn
Posted by: louise | July 01, 2013 at 11:40 AM
Your words ring very true, my situation is so much like yours, I am 35 with no partner or children and have had chronic fatigue all my life which has made it hard to do the things I've wanted.
With blogs and instagram its hard to see people doing the things we wish we were doing, but you are so right it is best to just take delight in what we see and you are one of those that are so inspiring and we have to remember that we may not always be seeing the whole picture of someones life and we can only do the best in our own lives.
Posted by: Jenni | July 01, 2013 at 02:04 PM
Beautiful post about Faith.
You are such a beautiful soul Kathryn...I want you to always know how much you inspire me, daily. Often, just posting a pretty photo, or seeing a friend's photo, is what helps me get through a tough day or moment. Your posts are always so heartfelt, and from that I learn so much.
Your words also always seem to be perfect timing for where my heart is...I have been neglecting my dreams lately. Today, I am inspired to chose happiness.
Thank you sweet and beautiful girl!
Posted by: Kerri Jones | July 01, 2013 at 03:50 PM
Dear Kathryn,
I too have had ME for ten years, I've been bedridden since 2006. I'm 34 now. What I wish to say is how very important your blog has been for me. It's such a kind and peaceful place. It makes me happy and your beautiful gentle words give me courage. Thank you so, so much.
May your energy return bit by bit by another tiny bit.
Posted by: Tanja | July 01, 2013 at 11:30 PM
Tanja
hello sweetie, thanks for sharing and for your kind wishes.
May I take the opportunity to say how sorry i was to hear of your having ME too, and wish for you the same recovery as you wish for me.
and thank you for your company here at Secrets, it's good to get such wonderful comments such as yours
Love n wishes
Kat xox
Posted by: Kat | July 04, 2013 at 02:00 PM
Jenni,
That is most true we don't always see the full picture do we.
And many people have things to deal with that arent obvious at first glance. I am sure that people don't often realise my own situation when I share at instagram.
I wish you well in your healing pathway sweetie and of course in holding onto your dreams
Love kat x
Posted by: Kat | July 04, 2013 at 02:04 PM
Kerri
Thank you darling your words always support me so much and give me an awareness of how my writing can reach people who though in different circumstances can still take something from my words that impacts their day. That you always take the time to comment and give me praise and encouragement makes a huge difference to my day,
Love you dear friend
Kathryn xx
Posted by: Kat | July 04, 2013 at 02:06 PM
Lovely K, just lovely.
Jules xx
Posted by: Jules | July 04, 2013 at 02:08 PM
💖Dear Kat,
Now that we are home from our travels and I've had the chance to come back here and really appreciate what you wrote, I want to let you know how much your words here resonate with me. It is so easy online to look at images of someone's life and imagine that it is perfect, I think that's something that we all struggle with when looking at blogs and Instagram. Thank you not only for the beautiful things that you said but also for bringing attention to the fact that it is possible to hold onto inspiration and dreams even within difficult circumstances as I know you've faced. Your positive outlook and lovely images inspire me deeply, I hope that you will never loose the positive attitude with which you have clearly touched so many. Wishing you every good thing. Xoxo Faith
Posted by: Faith | July 08, 2013 at 10:21 PM
I only just found this post Kat. I wanted to comment though as I know how incredibly painful it can be to see others living the lives we can only dream of at this point. It is beyond hard and incredibly difficult to hold the dream and not feel those pangs of jealousy creep in when we want so much to be experiences those things in our lives that we see others experiencing. I think its very natural to feel that way and having good support around us can make all the difference to how one copes also.. There is no right or wrong in how we deal with difficulties in our lives, I think everyone must find their own path to peace. But I know that your words here inspire many in their own journey with whatever life has dealt them. And I hope your own journey gets a little easier soon and those dreams begin to unfold for you.
Posted by: Michelle | September 08, 2013 at 01:57 PM