I have been working on this list for a little while. I thought I would pop it in a post incase you might take something from it too.
I wanted, by writing it in a list, for it to work as a way of highlighting just quite how many times a day we must be trying to be good enough in all these differing areas of life. We do this and stick to these rules because we equate being good at these things, with being what gets us approval, meaning we are good in ourselves. And good means worth love.
And it is love and being loveable that we all really desire the most deep down. But it's something we think we have to work for, earn, achieve or be good enough to be given.
It's not something we think that we were born being worthy of, without any conditions attached.
Each line below, could be attributed to a number of different things in itself. And many of them play into one another or increase, for if we feel low from one it's easy to slip into others.
And so many of these underlying perspectives or rules as I'm coming to see them, are at the source of our stress and unworthiness.
I think looking at a list like this, and realising where we judge ourselves, is part of taking a step back and turning towards yourself with all the more compassion for what you've been dealing with.
Gaining a sense of I never knew, I hadn't realised the extent I am so hard on myself in the guise of trying to gain worthiness for love....
"please let me stop all this, that weighs me down, dims my light, and drains my spirit & let me instead just give myself permission, praise, recognition, acceptance and love in it's place. please let me stop it all through the recognition and claiming of my worthiness for just simply who I am"
You're loved if ....
You're loved because ....
You're loved when ....
You're loved in order to
You're loved when you are
You're loved when you can
You're loved if you manage
You're loved if you're behaving
You're loved if you stick to the rules
You're loved if you not too emotional
You're loved if you don't get angry
You're loved if you don't cry
You're loved if you achieve well
You're loved if you meet expectations
You're loved if you are able to
You're loved if you conform to ideals
You're loved if your considered beautiful enough
You're loved if you are the way you should be
You're loved if you're the best you believe you could be
You're loved if you give me
You're loved if your doing
You're loved if your providing
You're loved if your supporting
You're loved if what you are doing is considered of value
You're loved if what you've achieved is up to standard
You're loved if you meet what's expected from your inner critic
You're loved if you make the grades
You're loved if you look right
You're loved if you have the right job
You're loved if you live in the right house
You're loved if you make enough money
You're loved if you're mixing with the right people
You're loved if they love you
You're loved if if if......
No,
though it seems hard to
comprehend with the mind,
in the deepest part of our hearts
we can remember the truth that
"You're loved for
just Being"
Not for
anything
you can look like, be, do,
achieve, think, give, and not
for anything you have,
maintain, regain, refrain from
or can claim !
You're JUST loveable for YOU
Full stop.
Then
it's ok, you know
actually you're ok,
when you see this,
the rules can start to slip away,
they don't have to keep you bound,
they aren't keeping you safe & loved.
Living by them, afraid to fail at them,
it doesn't determine you're loveable.
They only limit you.
When you see how loved you are
just for being,
you can relax,
wind down & enjoy the journey,
you get to stop having to work at
being a certain way
and feel ok to just be you,
to play again & not be worried
about the judgements,
or what others think.
You start to see
it's ok, to trust & to Be you,
because this acceptance,
this universal
all inclusive
love
without rules,
It, actually
includes you in its embrace.
Yes,
You are loved.
