Caroline
She radiated kind heartedness on screen and from what’s been said by those who knew her best, in her private life she was even kinder still.
She had difficulty with her mental health of course & sometimes that can cause you to behave in ways that you otherwise would never choose.
And that was so even before what happened lately. And maybe we will never have a complete understanding of what it was all about. But we don’t need to.
All we can do is just reflect on what it brings up for us to look at, and what could be changed for everyone.
There’s been such a great sadness collectively. And that touches everyone whether they are aware of it or not.
I read a lot of what her friends and other celebrities have said in honouring her memory. I watched Danny’s powerful emotive video last night and had much respect for his vulnerability & decision to try and show that it’s okay to not be okay. He’s made a difference and Stephanie Davis is making one.
It’s affected us all in some way, but can we choose what we do with that pain. Can it make us more humane, more human, more open about our own, and more available for others. Can it close gaps and build bridges, can it allow ideas and spur new measures.
I know many may just carry on after a week or so, but there’s still a lasting effect collectively that can’t be undone...and it can create change. Even if it’s simply people taking more care of their online conversation.
I think something tore open with the shock of how Caroline took her life, and it wasn’t just people’s hearts. More a opening to begin a new conversation & make changes to better support those in despair. Even if it still seems to take too long for the changes something shifted to let it begin. And let us pray it gains momentum.
The waiting lists of 8-10 months for someone suicidal to be seen for basic counselling are a disgrace. Theres still a lot that could be implemented to enhance what is offered as tools & therapies. I look forward to a day when with more open minds, things like breath work, yoga, eft, and other energetic healing or forms of therapy are there. There can be more depth of help at a time of most need & before it.
I don’t feel I will ever forget what happened to Caroline. I trust that something will come out of it to help others, but I still have a sense that she should still be here, smiling her smile and maybe even getting the help to heal underneath that.
I wouldn’t normally but to help me process a bit, I drew a starseed oracle card about how Caroline may’ve been feeling - I got Weight of the world. It made me think that not only did she have her own difficulties & pressures from past & present, she also must have had all that dense energy directed at her, and no doubt being empathetic was v effected. People don’t realise it’s not just words that hurt, it’s energy too. Even if she had never read any of it, there’s still that amount of energy directed at you.
The needlessness of conspiring factors in this case is hard to take. I will do some breathwork now, as my friend Kathy on Instagram reminded me of its helpfulness in processing our own or any collective pain we are sensing.
Take care, love
Kathryn
