Secrets of a Butterfly

Things unfold in a sacred way

there’s been some talk recently about no longer ascribing to “things happening for a reason”
I think it can still very much serve, especially if it encompasses more depth and more compassion for our very unique paths through life 

Some thoughts around it …

”Things unfold in a sacred way”

I may not always understand with my mind, but I can intuit with my heart, that there is still love beneath it all, and love still is there with me through it all.

 

 

So things happening for a reason, or with a greater purpose, than we can always know of.. is it something that you utilise to continue through very difficult times ?

 

It’s something I’ve noticed a few people mentioning in Instagram or Facebook posts, saying it isn’t something they believe, or like to say. They share how it’s dismissive and by passing. 

 

It’s such a multi layered topic, and I think it should be internal and never something we try to say to another, in over simplification. 

It can be said so flippantly, even by therapists during deep work, or equally in passing on the surface to someone suffering intolerably during grief, and that’s where the hurt lies in it, I’ve felt it that way for sure. 

But i also know the sustenance in it.  I hold strongly to what’s happened to me having a higher reason, a meaning and a purpose. If i did not have that, I would not still be here.

 

As I see it too, if I did not believe in “things happening for a reason”. It would mean I believe “things happen for no reason whatsoever”, it’s random and bad luck.

 

And for me that does not fit with what life shows me. Even though certain things are v out of balance here, underlying is still Life created by Love and there’s a sacred order to how that is in existence. 

 

That sacred energy that gifted me my body, that same intricacy, is involved in what i live through.  From the tiniest  cell that knows exactly what it’s doing to the largest things that happen, all is on purpose. 

 … it would be overwhelming to me to consider that the most traumatic things that happen were the very ones that had the least reason for doing so. As I think they have the most reason, they hurt us the deepest sometimes irreparably, and yet they have had to occur, for something else to. What that something else is, we can’t always fathom and sometimes simply cannot until we leave here . 

 

Just like i can’t always fathom how the human body works, it’s too deep. Yet I can respect it knows what’s it’s doing and I think that’s how I feel about what life brings.

I’ll be able to make sense of the awful things one day, the same intelligence that brought me here to Live, is running through my life, I’m not separate to it. 

Everything has purpose is the very heart for me, it’s never wasted, theres reason for having to have gone through this. 

 

 

Meeting with Andaras

 

 

With andaras

 

They don’t come up to meet you immediately,

 maybe like you’d be used to with a crystal

In a way you have to go towards them more

Enter their world where crystals enter ours

Andaras are more like cats 

Crystals more like dogs! Ha ha!

 

In the main, I mean there’s exceptions to that rule both sides

 

But. They don’t unlock unless you use your keys.

 

Whereas crystals seem to come with the key to open something up within you.

Andaras need you to unlock the doorway to enter within them

And in the vibration of their colour ray

 

Then the over lighting being can meet you guide you and talk with you

Very like a crystal, yet different too, because the consciousness, it’s from elsewhere 

 

Andaras are somehow utilising the vibration in the many sacred minerals alchemically mixed together, and glass fused, like a vibratory band width, to communicate or send packages of light codes   

These codes if in resonance to you, hum together like a tuning fork making another tuning fork vibrate in resonance 

If there’s something that can be received you’ll feel

Always the access through heart feeling awareness, not mind.  

 

Andaras feel to come from a different dimension

 a place where earth and it, intersected 

And magic fell through a gap

 

They help us to make equally magical leaps 

Because they did 

And because where they are from, 

that sort of thing must be real common!

 

The etherium is ethereal

It’s not static it’s moving 

It’s not structure it’s fluidity 

It’s not bound and unseeing

It’s free and clarifying

It’s beyond the constraints of this world

It takes you beyond the ideas you have that constrain you in this world

 

You can enter differently

When you view an Andara as a doorway

Rather than as a crystal ally 

Andaras take you places to meet future aspects of yourself , an other dimensional you 

 

Crystals in the main, meet you where you’re at 

and uplift you to all you can be 

they’re memory restorers and worth rebuilders 

they’re capsules to travel in to other realms 

 

Andaras remind you of who you are in your I Am, in your highest essence 

and project your consciousness from You,

 back to yourself in this now 

 

They are messengers of your higher dimensional light body self 

The rainbow of colours is your rainbow

The colours you love are your essence

We all have all colours

They have many teachings that are beyond language 

And the frequencies are inter-dimensional and galactic origin.  

 

 

The way to activate a crystal is to cleanse and then charge it and program or bless it

The way to activate an Andara, is the activation is felt within you, and cascades like a waterfall 

 

The Andara and you meet and if there’s a spark something is set in motion 

If the vibratory rate meets yours and there’s no key to turn it’s lock and open

Then it remains closed and as if just glass 

If there is a key to meet it’s code 

Then the codes activate 

And the doorway is open and the ray connects 

And floods your vibratory field with light

And consciousness and expansion and stability 

and upliftment and spins off that which is not in its resonance 

 

You are more than you seem

An Andara is more than it seems 

There are many versions of you 

There are many colours of them

The key is to open gaze and let it come to you and see if you meet in resonance and recognition 

Let it pull you in through the colour 

Go in

And then let it wash through 

 

~ kathryn 

 

 

This above is just my take on andaras I do not know if it’s how others see them - I think it is. 

 

Note : If there’s no resonance or feeling, it’s not that your consciousness isn’t “high enough”  

It’s not about you becoming high enough to access them

They aren’t rejecting you access, based on low or high vibration 

It simply means there isn’t a current match between that frequency and you 

There isn’t something you need from it. 

You’re receiving in a different way or a different language speaks more greatly for you. 

You’re receiving something elsewhere that you need more, or you could be receiving the same exact type of thing, just in a different form of delivery or connection that doesn’t happen to involve Andara consciousness. 

 

 

 

Divine Sophia

 

 

I wrote this about a meditation journey I did tonight, called  “ Unlock the seeds of your destiny with Sophia “ which was this months content in the Rise sister Rise membership of Rebecca Campbell’s. I thought I would share it here to remember and incase it sparks interest in the membership which is a place close to my heart many years now. 

Oh my absolutely beautiful.
The field of Sophia that we get to dwell in here is palatable. It is a void space, the music enhances this, the guiding words to breathe and surrender worked so well. The intent to bring us into awareness of Sophia is felt.

 

Just as we have cells in our body, we are a cell in Sophia’s body, that’s how close we are to her, her light her life force is the energy of chi that we feel and utilise. 

 

I loved the way we went back to coming in here, and linking it at the end to coming into this moment. We took birth very much for this point in the collective story, much of what we prepared for was to be here in the now. And to have this meditation as a opening in which to receive a transmission from Sophia, is important.

 

I felt or saw only one thing an igniting of a seed point of light in my heart space, a switching on.

 

The codes I felt I opened to that come later, constellations, transmitted activation from The Great Mother energy that continually holds us, breathes us. It was a great pause, to be in that void space, it doesn’t feel empty it feels teaming with life but in a cushioned softened way, not vibrant showy energy, just sustenance, I think in this transmission we receive sustenance for the next piece we will be doing. 

 

There wasn’t a lot of pictures brought to my mind and I liked that the music encouraged s kind of nothingness feel.

In the nothingness is everything. We touched into the stars with this, it was different, a transmission, subtle but so deep.

Thank you for this opening into Sophia’s womb of creation, the heart of the rose that She is! I loved this opportunity. 

 

 

I’m grateful for

I’m grateful for 

The breath 

The quiet, the strength, between the discord or despairs

 

The moments where accessing a higher Love is brought in

The moments where what’s needed comes

and where receiving is possible

 

The moments where signs are seen and courage re- felt 

The times I’ve met myself unconditionally and the times I couldn’t but I saw her and loved her too 

 

The times that have been too much

that I still made it forward with somehow 

My parents

My home

Warmth, light, love 

 

The rising up of those who need a voice 

The deeper recognition of worth beyond doing

 

The teachers that have guided

The angels that have healed 

The Earth as she’s held us still. 

 

The friendships, the shares, the posts, the drs, the books,

the poets, that have opened me up to more 

The photos that inspire or educate 

The option to debate, & articulate

 

The connections here that have sustained me or brought me to things I wouldn’t have otherwise seen

The unknown becoming more known

Bringing in hope and things that we need,

 owning our medicines

 

The way a birds song harmonises 

The way frequencies are everything

Flowers, buttercups, like a star constellation 

Green grass clippings in my crystal bag 

Roses, the scent, the texture, the presence 

Our garden waiting me and seeing me again

 

Narnia 

Lemuria

Crystals that upleveled and bring home here

Smiles of little ones on getting many gifts

Birthdays as a sign of making it through more than you imagined possible

Hearing what’s wanted to be said 

 

Writing, Deciphering, Journeying

 

Feeling a greater sentience

Deer, Reindeer, white trees, amethyst, a soft breeze

 

Remembering where we really are

Luminous petals, Peaceful tracks

Home feeling close.

 

Clearing, transmuting

Discernment Non judgement

Drum, chime, bowl 

Heart whole, while tattered

None of it mattered.

 

Stories, illusions, yet real tears, real fears

Embracement

Holding, hiding, appearing, listening, guiding, wanting, trying,

Ending contracts

Unbinding seals

Letting beliefs go

 

Gifts of presence

Speaking love

Being tender when hurting 

Battered, bruised, wanting

Endings

Findings

Undoing bindings

 

Hoping

Nurturing

Mother Mary, St Germain,

bringing love back in again 

Michael, Mary, Jeshua all 

Writing, hearing, listening, guiding 

 

Grateful,

 I get scared to be 

in case you take it away from me 

But here it is 

 

I’m not grateful to be here all of the time

Sometimes Not at all

But I’m grateful that under it all

You stand by me and I stand by me

 

I’m grateful that love matters 

I’m grateful any amount of love matters

I’m grateful that loving makes a difference

I’m grateful that to love is to be

And to be, is all that’s necessary

 

I’m grateful to remember

where I’m at, what I’m doing, 

who I am, what I care for, 

who I can be, what I can do, 

where I can go, how I can heal, 

who I can teach, where I can learn.

 

I’m grateful to forget and let go what doesn’t matter,

heal what I need to hear, 

hope for what I can accomplish, 

let go of what isn’t important 

and return to what feels like home

 

I’m grateful for the grace to choose again,

to undo, and to mend.

 

I’m grateful for the healing we took birth for

and the rebirth we are completing together

 

The patterns we have ended, the power we have rebuilt 

The things we have reclaimed together,

and the light we’ve all beamed 

 

I’m grateful that their are lanterns when the path gets dark and hands to lift us up when we can reach them 

 

I’m grateful that God is working on all our behalves all at once

with No stone left unturned

Thank God for bigger pictures and finer details together,

and the threads we weave between 

 

I’m grateful to my Heart 

I’m so grateful for our path being cared for

So grateful for our hearts being heard

So grateful for our light that can’t ever end

And so grateful for a way to be here

 

Just anyway to make it all be easier,

and more fun, and more like we know it should be. 

In love. In pure love. 

 

That’s what I am grateful for 

That’s what I’m grateful for, 

pure love. 

kathryn 1st January 

 I spoke this too 

 

 

Homeschool love letter

For the young ones struggling with home school stress

 

You can’t be wrong 

You can get something wrong in a book,

or on a page,

but you inside

that you, will still be all right 

and good and loved 

 

Don’t fear if you get something wrong

You’ll be losing the love 

of the very people that matter most 

 

I know life can make it feel like that sometimes 

But 

If you get something wrong

It’s not the end of the world

It doesn’t matter 

You will still have my love 

You are still safe 

 

In life we all get things wrong 

And many times we get them right too

But what stays the same is 

how much you are loved 

 

As really that’s for free!

Not about how much we show we can do

But simply because of who We Are

 

You can feel less pressure to have to 

get things right

When you know

If you get them wrong

We still love you very much 

 

 You are still all right 

and good inside as You

 

You know 

Instead of trying so hard today 

to get it all right 

in order to feel good 

Let’s practice getting things wrong instead

Let’s feel in to how we feel 

when we get something wrong 

Let’s practice feeling scared of

letting people down 

And let’s find out together

That getting things wrong

Doesn’t stop us being loved

by those that matter 

 

Wouldn’t it be amazing if in 

homeschool lockdown

 

Instead of the pressure of having to learn

 more & more stuff 

We used some of our time with those who love us 

to actually unlearn and stop 

that feeling of having to be scared about getting it wrong 

 

What if we found a way to learn 

that felt better and nicer and less scary after-all 

What if we found how to let 

all that awful pressure go 

 

What if we found how to love and like

ourselves just for Us

And found out others did too

 

That letting go would help us SO much

Not just right now 

But in All of our Life 

 

2021

 

 

 

2021

 

I ask of you

Only that you unfold

Completely and utterly

As you need to

I ask of you that 

You are entirely yourself

And flow exactly as intended

There is no right 

Or wrong way

There is no direction that 

needs control 

you are free in my eyes

2021 

To be and exist exactly as you are 

I need this of you too

No judgement no shaping to fit a narrative

No expectation 

No labels

Just an openness and allowance of me as I am

And you as you are 

Just a meeting of one another in acceptance 

I will not seek to make you anything

But know how you are is exactly how you need to be 

- kathryn 

2020

 

 

2020

 

There are tough times

And there are intense ones

There is strain, and there is loss

There is grief and there is hopelessness

But in amongst it all bravery

courage, determination. 

 

There is despairing and disease

Suffering and disruption

Limitation, restriction, and fear

But in amongst it all is care

is interconnection, appreciation 

Selflessness, service & love 

 

There is a call for freedom, health, 

normality and new beginnings

There is an honouring, a grieving 

An isolation while also a belonging

 

2020

You were the darkness in which many had to find their own way to cast some light

You were the force that initiated change, 

within single hearts and the global one 

Like a world war you brought brokenness 

to many 

But also sowed the seeds for change.

 

Some things taken away can’t ever be replaced, some things taken down can never be rebuilt, but some things can re-emerge, transform and bloom again.

Differently,

perhaps better, in time,

than they used to be 

 

And above all with more of our appreciation than we held them in before 

 

We opened our eyes because of you 2020

We saw what truly matters

Because it was disrupted, lost or threatened

We looked again at what we had forgotten

mattered most 

 

We saw with more clarity

We felt with more surety 

Who we really are 

What we really need

What we really love 

- kathryn 

Breath and Balance

Take a breath. Hold. And let it go. Just a moments pause. And again, breathe. Hold. And let go. ⁣

⁣

I drifted away from from remembering how grateful I am for the breath. ⁣

For the gift of breath. ⁣

For the presence within the breath. ⁣

⁣

White flowers, if I pause with them, they can bring me back to a place of awareness with the breath. ⁣

The simplicity. The paired back nature of what is it that we really need most. What truly matters most. ⁣

⁣

A prayer of simple awareness, acknowledging our interdependence, our innate similarities with all kingdoms of life, what it is we all need in order to be here, and how we rely on these shared energies, and all that is interwoven for us to even be here Now. ⁣

⁣

I see you. ⁣

And I thank you.....⁣

Breath, Sun, Water, ⁣

Fire, Night, Day, ⁣

Soul, Soil, Earth, ⁣

Plants, Animals, Mammals, ⁣

Birds, Insects, Air⁣

Energy, colour, light, ⁣

people, connection, touch, ⁣

words, kindness, hope, ⁣

wholeness, joys, smiles, ⁣

purpose, devotion, compassion, ⁣

honesty, togetherness, ⁣

sight, sounds, ⁣

Sky, heaven, hearts, ⁣

lovers, loves, & love. ⁣

⁣

Always love. ⁣

Amen ⁣

⁣

And I thank you. ⁣

For I am only here, because of you all. ⁣

The elements, ⁣

the minerals, ⁣

the plants, ⁣

the air, the birds, ⁣

the insects, the sky, ⁣

the soil. ⁣

The warmth, the sun. ⁣

Nourishment, light. ⁣

The rivers, oceans, deepest seas, ⁣

farthest outreaches, ⁣

& innermost cells, ⁣

dna, water, all within me. ⁣

⁣

What may I offer in return. ⁣

my appreciation. ⁣

My awareness. ⁣

My humility. ⁣

My compassion. ⁣

My truth. ⁣

My longing. ⁣

My intention. ⁣

My creation ⁣

My faith⁣

My service. ⁣

My love. ⁣

⁣

Is this enough? ⁣

I am 🤍 ⁣

& remember...⁣

It is Enough. ⁣

You are Enough.⁣

⁣

Receive. Receive the breath & surrender the breath. Receive the breath & gift the breath. Receive and Give. Give and Receive. ⁣

The balance is innate. The balance is what we already own. The balance cannot be destroyed. Only knocked. Covered. Curtailed. But the balance always responds, recoups, revitalises. Balance is what life knows. It reaches every which way for balance. ⁣

xx ⁣

 

You have every right

You have every right to dance when your a dancer

 and express love when your a human being

 

You have every right to expand a message

 & honour a movement towards a better world

 

You can use all your talent that was placed in you for a reason

 

You can in Art, do what you are called to,

 dance, move, sing, paint and express,

what you are called to

 

It doesn’t have to be liked by all

No one has the right to tell you

 you shouldn’t, or you did it wrong,

 or how dare you use creativity

 as a means of speaking what matters most to your very soul 

I mean, as if that’s something a human was born to do!

 

If you are gifted opportunity to speak, 

to shout, to dance, to move, 

to convey a message,

 however uncomfortable or beautiful 

However painful or confronting 

Do it 

Do it now !

 

Do not be boxed up 

shut up, and kept quiet 

That’s not why you are here

 

Dance diversity 

Dance !

And in dancing your message is heard even louder,

 it is multiplied by your unified movement,

 by your infusing your passion with purpose

 & then sharing it in service 

 

You claim it 

Claim it for your own 

That freedom 

To do this!

and we will celebrate that claim 

For freedom for one 

Is the beginnings of freedom for all 

and freedom for none is not the way the future will stay !

 

Like you say “ Sometimes we have to get sick to find a better way “

 

A circle lit by lanterns

I’ve felt like leaving many times

Because of the intensity of the situation

& the enormity of the restriction 

On who I am on how I can live

The length of time 

And the desperation 

The lack of intervention

How ill I feel

How little I do 

No one to ask for help

Truly known by so few

 

 

But I’m still here

Breathing my little breaths 

Appreciating the air.

Here & there 

feeling like heaven would be easier

But ALL the while wanting to stay

 

And yet deeply ....

 

Honouring those who didn’t.

Or couldn’t.

Or wanted to be

But weren’t able.

 

Not as weak

But as strong

 

Yes

Seeing their strengths

how deeply they feel 

how long they struggle 

Knowing what it takes

When the heart breaks

Or cannot beat one more time,

to the rhythm of life here, 

with its coolness of ways,

cruelest of days, 

with its injustices, imbalances 

disparages and heartlessness...

That no matter you try,

doesn’t make any sense,

That leaves them just gasping for air 

For what they know it should be like

And to which they cannot see it ever being 

Again 

 

Time in time out 

no one can know how many, 

sometimes it gets too much

Who can say what went before for another 

 

No judgement on what they did to leave

Deepest deepest heartfelt wishes

To those left behind

Always wondering questioning 

And often mistakenly blaming themselves 

 

Yes

I can completely relate to someone going

Over the last 30 years of illness 

I never thought i would say that 

until the last 5
which have been so so hard 

on every aspect

of my heart soul mind and being 

 

But Now  

I understand 

Now I understand 

what someone can be pushed to

life is intense and I have nothing

but love for anyone in that much pain 

 

For

Something in their heart and mind,

body or soul 

it became unbearable

even for a moment more.

 

they were so immersed in the moment
they couldn’t step back 

They couldn’t use the small breath left
to speak or shout out 

They didnt feel worthy of being heard or helped

They didn’t want to be a bother 

a failure 

an embarrassment

 a burden 

 

maybe ...

They didn’t want to leave life

just had to run, escape the pain 

There’s that term fight or flight again.

 

And they couldn’t feel a way through the darkness 

to end that in any other way

They were just looking for the way out  

They were just looking for the light

When all is said and done 

We are all just looking for the light 

We are not so different afterall.

 

But their light 

Wasn’t there

no light was 

and they waited 

but it never came back 

 

Everything was covered

Dark, bleak, barren, gone,

No more a grip to hold on.

 

They couldn’t use a lantern 

To illuminate the future weeks 

They could only seek for light elsewhere.

 

In oblivion, they wanted it to end 

But from the darkness that they passed with 

They entered back to a vaster, infinite light 

Back to peace, not pain 

Found themselves again 

 

In this we pray 

 

So 

When we ask for help 

What do we really need? 

What makes someone feel less suicidal ?

Catching them

Holding tenderness in a space 

Listening 

Truly Hearing 

Not trying to fix it 

Not dismissing it

Or diminishing it 

Not going cold hearted 

because it’s uncomfortable for you to take in

Just keeping a space 

Yes a space 

Like 

A circle in a dense forest

Lit by lanterns 

A place for them to feel safe inside

A place for them to turn to

A place for them to feel the warmth of a light

Not yet there own

But a reminder of what it feels like to belong 

to be at home. 

 

You can’t stop someone making a choice to go 

But you can currently make choices

that unwittingly may be helping them stay 

 

You can make a choice to love someone enough

 that they can be and breath 

and sense a belonging in your silent companionship, 

or in your thoughtful texts, 

or in your noticing of their broken heart. 

That in itself

 is gifting life,

 gifting another breath.

 

There’s no greater gift you can give

than a love that tenderly lifts another 

When their wings are broken 

And they cannot fly 

 

You don’t even realise how impactful you are

In making differences simply by sharing your kindnesses 

Compassion is the key 

To it all 

I promise 

 

please sit a while

with me

🕊

 

 

Postscript

this post is haphazard, a little disjointed, may’ve not all flow, but it’s here, imperfectly, a little contribution of a voice, for it’s for suicide awareness day today & it mattered to me just to have heartfelt words up on my page